A New Chapter

So, today ends one of the longer chapters of my life. I'm sad to see it go, but at the same time, I am slightly relieved. It's funny - I expected a total feeling of lightness after today's events; what I got was a complete sort of schizophrenia in terms of lightness and weight. One minute I would feel so free, liberated, and light; the next I would feel completely bogged down, as if nothing changed, severe feelings of self-loathing, and total weight. Right now I'm somewhere in between and it's complicated to say the least.

Attached to the title of this entry is a link to the lyrics/translation/information of this poem by Heinrich Heine. Basically listen to "Allnächtlich im Traume Seh' Ich Dich" from Schumann's Dichterliebe (which sets Heine's poem to music) to understand how I've been feeling about this whole issue for a while now. Here is the last strophe of the German lyrics; the part with which I have identified most these past few weeks:

"Du sagst mir heimlich ein leises Wort

Und gibst mir den Strauß von Zypressen.

Ich wache auf, und der Strauß ist fort,

Und das Wort hab' ich vergessen."

   - Heinrich Heine